A midlife crisis can happen at any time around our late 30’s and early 40’s, and for a woman, it usually follows on from that blasted perimenopause. Check out our article on that subject here: https://ustwofriends.com/perimenopause-dont-tell. As our bodies begin to age and as we realise we can’t turn back time, we enter crisis mode. We realise we are mere mortals!
When the midlife crisis hits, our anxiety levels rise, and we begin to look back on our lives with a ‘what might have been’ mentality. We think of the places we wanted to visit but never had the time. We think of the career we could have had but didn’t follow, for whatever reasoning. We think of all the hopes and aspirations we used to have, but now, looking back on them, we realise they have gone unfulfilled. Maybe.
People react to the midlife crisis in different ways. Some of us dwell on the misery and the regrets. We grieve our youth and what our lives could have been. Others actively try to recapture their youth, opting for botox and facelifts, refusing to face the ravages of age.
Have you been through the midlife crisis? Are you going through it now? Do you want to know how to deal with this time in your life? We have some advice for you here, and we hope you find it helpful. You don’t have to let the midlife crisis get you down, so consider the following and then let us know what you think.
Tips for dealing with a midlife crisis.
Preempt the problem
Rather than waiting for the inevitable (and probably having a mini-crisis in the interim), make changes in your life now. If there is an area where you aren’t happy, but when change is possible, start a plan of action. You can…
- Improve your fitness – https://www.realsimple.com/health/fitness-exercise/ – finding ways to energise your body so you don’t feel some of the effects that ageing can bring upon you.
- Look back at your goals, and find ways to achieve some of them before time runs out.
- Start to save money, so you can improve your life chances today and into the future.
By taking these steps (as examples), you may not find yourself in too much of a crisis when you approach your middle age.
Look at the positives in your life
This is about reframing your thinking. Rather than dwelling on the negative side of being middle-aged, with all the dreams that have long been crushed in your life thus far, start to think about the good things in your life. There must be positives, no matter how small.
- Be thankful for your achievements in life.
- Be thankful for your family, your children, your partner, your parents.
- Be thankful for the friends you have and for the people who love and support you.
- Be thankful that you have survived thus far. Not everybody makes it to their middle age!
Be thankful for the big things and the small things. Practice gratitude, taking time to reflect on the things in life that you have enjoyed, and still enjoy. You can’t turn back time and relive your youth, but you can be thankful for what you did then. You can look at the time you have now and be grateful for the life you have. And you can look towards the future. What do you have to look forward to? Surely there is more than just middle-age, and the continuing process of ageing. And if the future doesn’t seem satisfying, consider our next point.
Begin a new chapter in your life
Rather than focusing on the life opportunities that have escaped you, make new opportunities, putting into action plans to make your life mean something. You don’t have to make major changes, but it should be something that you will look back on when you hit old age; something that will negate the risk of any more regrets.
- Move house and start life anew elsewhere. Live in a place where you can build new memories, meet new people and experience new opportunities. This may be across town, or you might want to be really daring and live abroad. Check out the international properties at https://www.rumah.com/rumah/dijual, as examples.
- If you don’t want to move abroad, you can still travel. Rather than look back at the places you never visited, start to work on a travel bucket list and visit them. Provided you have managed to put some money aside, the world is your oyster.
- Actively look for another career if you aren’t happy where you are. Many adults start again in later life, so if you truly are unsatisfied, start anew elsewhere. Yes, you may need to get back into education, but if you are going to have a job that fulfils your needs, regardless of money, then attaining new qualifications will be totally worth it.
Do these things or none of these things, it’s up to you. But if you do want your life to mean something, and if you do want to live the rest of your life with fewer regrets, you should start to act on it now before you do get to later life where you wistfully look back and consider what could have been!
While you should make plans to improve your future, there is still the issue of today! If a midlife crisis is affecting you, there is the real danger of you falling into depression. You can see some of the symptoms here, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/midlife-crisis-opportunity. Should these be true to you, don’t suffer alone. Talk to the people who love and support you, consider counselling, and pay a visit to your doctor. While you can do all kinds of things to alleviate how you’re feeling, you should still seek support if you are struggling to help yourself.
We aren’t getting any younger; it sucks, we know. But you don’t need to let a midlife crisis affect you for long. Be grateful for who you are, look to the future with hope and optimism, and begin to change your life today to better your tomorrow. Take care, and thanks for reading!